welcome 2021

Well, 2020 was a bit of a year, wasn't it? 

Personally I decided to make some life changes that I am continuing with. There's been a blip up to and over the Christmas period and a substantial weight gain was the result. But it was about what I predicted, I know why it has happened and I am prepared to take it on the chin and start again. Only I won't be starting from scratch. I have certainly gained, but not even half of what I have lost since May (more like a quarter 😜)

Anyway, today we are clearing the fridge and we've already done a menu for the week and a shopping list accordingly. I am about to finish the Lindt and Godiva chocolates and the pate that's unopened has a really long date on it so can be eaten anytime - no rush!

I completed C25K just before Christmas, although I should technically call it C230M (couch to 30 minutes) because I am nowhere near 5K in 30 minutes, but I can run (shuffle) for 30 mins no drama! So my next task is to do it faster, increase my speed and really feel I am exercising, out of breath and heart pounding instead of pacing myself so well that I can still hold a conversation and recover in less than 30 seconds. I am starting the programme again safe in the knowledge that I can run for 30 minutes and so mentally I have already done it, but now I am going to push myself by running, rather than 'jogging' (shuffling)

I have done week1 run1 and I was knackered, but I felt good that I was taking the full 90 seconds between runs to recover and my heart was pounding and I was out of breath. Although it's hard, I feel like I'm properly exercising. That was last Tuesday, and I won't have the opportunity to run again until this Tuesday, so I might really feel it again, and need to repeat the first run to make sure I'm ready for week 2!

I haven't made any drastic new year resolutions, just to continue with what I am doing, do it properly and reap the benefits. In the meantime, thank goodness for elasticated waists! 

C25K again

 Hi there,

I've not written in a while but I'm still here, soldiering on with the weight loss.

Now, I say weight loss, but for the past two weigh-ins I have gained. 200g then 100g today. It's not much, in the grand scheme of things, but it's a trend I don't want to continue.

I had got down to 18.8kg, but now I'm 'only' on a total of 18.5kg lost.

I've been here before, lost a fair bit, started to get complacent, forgot to add the sweeties, cos it's only one sherbert lemon, or one chocolate orange twirl (that was lovely, BTW!) but one leads to another, to another, and I may as well have one or two of those chocolate digestives someone brought to work while I'm at it...

Those temptations are never going to go away. I don't buy them, they're not in the house but they are at work. All. The. Time. Presents from patients, staff treats, peace offerings from doctors...

But these last couple of weeks I've bought the odd thing too and now it's biting me on the bum!

In other news, I have completed week one of C25K (for the what, 4th time?) but it's definitely easier now I've lost a bit of timber! I have managed the 60 second runs, and I feel that I am ready to try 90 seconds next week. I just have to fit it in around work, shifts, studying and life in general.

Hopefully by next week, if I stick to WW properly and complete week 2, or even just do a couple of runs if I'm struggling to fit it in, it will show on the scales. Unfortunately next Sunday morning I will be in the middle of a run of nights, including that extra hour that everybody else will get in bed! Not me - an extra hour at work that I don't get paid any extra for!

16kgs

I have now lost 16.1kgs on WW and feeling rather marvellous about it!

I have struggled at times, but it has been made so much easier because hubby is also participating (and losing too).

The app is brilliant, and makes it so easy to just scan and input what you're having (or planning to have.) Sometimes we're a bit lax on the planning side, but mostly we stick to what we've planned with the odd treat (like Pizza Hut takeaway on Sunday!)

For lunch today I had a pitta with grilled chicken and serrano ham and a bag of lentil chips - all for 10 points. Most fruit and veg is zero points, so I'm supplementing with plenty of these too.

 

 

First goal- smashed

Smashed into iddy biddy little pieces! My first weight-loss goal was to get under 100kg. And today at weigh in number 4, I did that with an overall total loss of 8.4kg. My BMI has gone from 42.2 to 38.9, so far.

I have planned and tracked and tracked and planned and haven't cheated once in these last 4 weeks. I have avoided all sorts of goodies at work, alcohol (not usually very difficult for me), chocolate, biscuits, cake and sweets.

It would be wrong to say you can't eat these things on WW, but I'm learning about me (after nearly 48 years of me, it was about time) and I can't stop at one with the sweet stuff. Yes, I could have one cupcake, but it would be a shedload of points that I couldn't use for something else and it's not worth it. Yes, I could have a biscuit. But I cannot stop at one biscuit, particularly if they come in a packet of substantially more than 1! I could have one mini heroes or Cadbury's Rose or Quality Street at work. But I definitely wouldn't be able to resist 'just one more' and then maybe another...and another...and another. I know my triggers.

I'm also drinking loads of water - which strangely, I find easier to do at work and just seem to forget at home! But I suppose I drink more other stuff at home, so I'm still getting pretty much the same amount of fluid intake.

The food I do eat has to be interesting and tasty and I absolutely refuse to eat 'diet' food or low fat unless I actually prefer it anyway. I'm trying to vary my meals and not always have the same breakfast or lunch. It helps that OH is also doing WW (although he has considerable more daily points than I do!) We're tending to have different breakfast and lunches and then coming together to share the same evening meal.

Today I have had 0% Greek Yoghurt (which I liked and ate anyway) with a bit of granola as a topping rather than as 'the main event' and some berries. OH isn't keen on the yoghurt, so he has cereal and milk. For lunch I had a bagel and some feta with a bag of chickpea crisps. I was going to have avocado but it's solid and not ready to eat yet. This leaves me loads of points for my dinner and we're planning a grilled chicken salad, which is pretty low in points. I might have some bread too. Fruit is zero points so I am eating loads - berries, apples, bananas and we've had some lovely watermelon and fresh pineapple. There's some ice cream left in the freezer that i might have to dip in to...

6 kilos lighter?

I'm feeling motivated and feeling good.

I think the key difference to previous times is that I am planning and tracking every single morsel that passes my lips. I know it's all still new and the motivation is always high at the beginning, but I genuinely feel my mind is in a different place this time.

I have previously 'forgotten' to track this little thing or that little thing and them look aghast at the scales when they don't show me what I want to see. It would be the scales' fault, of course!

Working shifts can sometimes disrupt what I'm trying to do, but yesterday i was on a long day and I had all my meals planned and prepared the day before so I wasn't faced with the 6 am decisions on what to eat for 3 meals - that's never very good.

I'm also planning meals so that I know if I'm having a point-heavy dinner, I make my lunch less so. today we were supposed to be having turkey mince chilli tacos. But we decided this afternoon that it might be nicer in the slow cooker and it was a bit late now to start. So we've changed that to tomorrow's dinner instead. Unfortunately, our alternative meal is a bit higher points and I had my lunch based on the turkey! Oh well, thank goodness for weeklies!

I'm making a real effort to drink loads of water too. I always take a bottle to work, but find when I'm at home I don't drink as much at all. My bottle comes with me at all times now and I try to refill at least once, preferably twice in a day. It hold 600 mls and with other drinks throughout the day, I easily get 2 litres if I refill it once. refilling it twice just gives me that bit extra.

My starting weight was on a Saturday night fully clothed and after meals. My first weigh in was the same and I lost 3 kg. My second weigh in was naked on Sunday morning before food (and after a wee!!) and the scales had gone down another 3 kg. So, I don't really think I have lost 6 kg, but I have definitely lost weight and that's what the scales say! I will stick to naked Sunday mornings from now on I think, to make sure it's reliable.

A week in and feeling good

The week started with us using up all the rubbish food that we had bought because we had not planned to be following Weightwatchers; spur of the moment kind of people that we are!

Anyway, I kind of abandoned hope of losing any weight in the first week as we hoovered up Bon Mamman desserts and bags of Walkers crisps. You can eat what you like, but spending 7 points of my 32 on a coffee dessert that doesn't even touch the sides is a hell of a waste.

Despite the lashings of 'wrong' food, I have tracked every last morsel, which I've never done before and consequently used up 60 of my 42 weekly points too (!!)

As you can see that's a pretty hefty deficit - but it could have been oh, so much worse if I had indulged in the Bon Mamman! By Thursday, I had been shopping and bought in the healthy stuff and the points grabbers were diminished as we had ploughed our way through them, and i have stuck to my daily points since then. Hubby has almost twice the daily points I do, so he is making the most of it at lunchtime when I don't have to see!

I have charged my fitbit and been wearing it all week, at work, in the garden and at night recording my sleep and I have earned 53 of my 21 fitpoints. I don't quite know what that means, but I'm hoping it goes some way to evening out my points deficit - perhaps even cancelling it out. Maybe.

The scales will tell...

My Weightwatchers

here we go again.

I am an addict

Bees gathering around the pretty sweet stuff.
It's me, really. I am a sugar addict.
there. I said it.
I am a sugar addict.
Hubby is a carb addict. Mostly bread.
We're going to try a ketogenic diet and see how e go before one or both of us develops type 2 diabetes or our joints collapse under the colossal strain of our bulk!

Happy New Year!

Yes, predictably with the new year comes all the resolutions and all the big plans to change my lifestyle. I'd like to say "No,; this year I'm not going to conform to all that!" But sadly, yes I am as hubby and I are about to repeat the six week bootcamp I embarked on on November.

https://www.fatgirlgetfit.co.uk/

I had degrees of success with it and lost 10lbs in the first detox week. Then I carried on for a week or so without a problem before going to Leeds and staying at Malmaison for 3 nights. It all went completely to pot and I was very ill on the last day, either through a bug or through eating so much rich food straight after a detox!

After that I kind of half-heartedly followed it as Christmas was approaching and I couldn't be bothered and hubby wasn't doing it and and and... excuses excuses.

I put 1lb back on by the time it came to Christmas Eve and the next time I was allowed to weigh myself so I was pretty pleased with that. I have just weighed myself again and I've put on another 5lbs over Christmas. C'est la vie! At least I'm still lighter than I was 2 months ago!

So today we are eating what remains of the Christmas indulgences and tomorrow I am back at work and back onto the detox.

I'll keep you posted...

6 week bootcamp

Oh my, I haven't been here for a little while, have I? Well I'm back and I'm on it like a car bonnet! On a whim of depression, sadness and outright disgust at myself and my bad eating habits I signed up for a 6 week bootcamp which started yesterday and finishes on Christmas Eve.

There's a facebook group for excellent support and a lot of us with fitbits have become friends on there and are completing challenges. I missed out on success on a virtual Yosemite Valley challenge - the winner (and only person to have completed the whole walk in the time given) had trekked up Snowdon - hence the massive amount of steps. I was the next best achiever, but didn't finish (38500 steps in 36 hours!). I am currently doing the New York marathon and was in the lead this morning but I fear I will have been overtaken tonight. It's good motivation if you're in that frame of mind.

This first week is detox week - no caffeine, no dairy, no wheat, no sugar. My head's a bit fuzzy today - I should be studying for the 3 million things I've got happening in the next 3 weeks but I can't concentrate to learn. I haven't had caffeine since Saturday lunch time - that's ok; I drink decaff after 6pm anyway so I've had that for some drinks. I also have lemon and ginger tea and today I bought Pukka licorice and mint tea as recommended on the group for sweet cravings. It's not too bad actually and I can see the 'sweet' bit is helpful. It recommends not having too much of that if you have hypertension (waves hello) so I'd better not have any more today (2 cups already).

I have always objected to being told what to eat, but I have batch cooked a few meals (as recommended and they will be repeated) and so it's actually a novelty not having to think up 'what to have for tea'. I've made myself a plan of what I think is realistic to make fresh and eat straightaway and what I can make beforehand. I have made the 'smokey chilli' from quorn instead of minced turkey - cannot find that anywhere and it has far too much chilli in for me - it's uncomfortably hot. But I've got 8 portions left in the freezer! I've made 8 portions of harari soup - I limited the chilli and it tastes pretty good. My main downfall is that I want to season everything with salt. And for years I didn't season anything and now I can't, I miss it!

Using the fitbit and taking on challenges is good. I have done over 10,000 steps every day since Tuesday. It's motivational for someone who has seriously lacked motivation for months. My legs ache, my ankles ache and my hip is very sore but I'm trying to manage without painkillers if I can - another thing I need to cut down on.

As for peeing. Well I'm doing plenty of that!

And off we go again...

I've not been on here for quite a few weeks now. I'm dillying and dallying where food and exercise is concerned and I just caught myself looking at Slimming World on line. It's £20 a month and £80 to start if you want all the magazines and books. I cannot justify that if I end up not sticking to it. I think the appeal was that I have never done Slimming World before and so unlike Weightwatchers, I wouldn't have all the same dread of what is on offer, pointing and weighing. I don't know how Slimming World works, except that they have 'syns' which gets my back straight up. And I am an intelligent woman; I have discussed many times on here about how it surely just is a balance of input and output - a balance that I have not yet managed to strike successfully.

If I'm going to lose this weight once and for all I need to change my lifestyle and not just fork out spondoolies every month for someone else to say measure this, count that and "should you be eating that?". It's a simple equation of avoiding the obviously 'bad' things such as refined sugar and saturated fat as much as possible, making sensible choices and above all not buying the crap in the first place! But why is that so difficult?

I had a blood pressure check last week, which was OK; not brilliant, but OK. My asthma peak flow is similar - could be better but not dire or particularly worrying. I also weighed myself this morning for the first time in ages and despite my fears, I am relatively stable and am lighter than when I embarked on this in June - hovering around 100kg (100.8 today). But even though everything is ok, I'm dissatisfied. I am an intelligent woman, I relish getting stuck into a project and yet I can't muster the motivation to concentrate on my health and wellbeing as a project - a very worthwhile and ultimately rewarding project.

I've got 10 weeks until my graduation ceremony, where I have my picture taken in a cap and gown. (I got a distinction, BTW) and get plastered all over the newsletters as well as the walls of the education centre for all eternity. I want to look better than I do now. If I could lose between 5-10kg in that time, that would be doable, wouldn't it?

Well, of course, only if I change what I'm doing! That goes without saying!

Tesco this afternoon and I shall be doing my utmost to be sensible about what I chose to put in the trolley. Hopefully hubby is up for it too.

Comfort in figures

Today is my last day of annual leave as I am back to work tomorrow. I've had my birthday during my time off. How I got to this age is a miracle in itself, without killing anyone is also a miracle! I think birthdays always make you contemplate life, how you have lived it and how you intend to go on living it. That's just what marking the passages of time does to humans, isn't it?

I am now 45 years old. That's half way to 90, if I live to 90. If I don't live til 90 then I'm over half way through my life. My grandma was half way through her life at 39, my grandad (her husband) not until he was 46. My 'other' grandad was half way through at 27! Mortality is a bit of a downer, isn't it?

Anyway, enough rhetorical questions. I'm back to work tomorrow and all I can say is that in terms f diet and exercise, that is probably no bad thing. There's too much temptation to 

• eat crap
• do bog all exercise

And that is pretty much what I have done. For the whole time. And give or take the odd shift or workshop, I haven't worked regularly since the 23rd of June! OMG that's over 3 and a half weeks! I'll be shattered! AND I'm a year older.

I have set myself up with loads of plans. I have made this week's granola already and it is currently cooling on the baking tray before I put it in a kilner jar. I make enough for 7 days and it seems to have been lasting nicely with about 70g a day. It might be a few calories, but with the oats and nuts and seeds, it's a pretty healthy 70g. I have downloaded the new C25K with Sarah Millican as my coach, which is excellent, funny and pretty ironic and will probably make me giggle as I imagine her doing the C25K with me.

My bike is all prepped and ready to go and my fitbit is charging as I type. I'm not sure what the scales will say tomorrow morning. I haven't been truly awful this week as far as food is concerned but I haven't weighed or tracked and I have done a few walks but haven't worn my fitbit so I don't know how far or how many steps; it's funny how you get so used to measuring stuff (steps, food, weight) and then when you don't it all goes to pot a little and you're flailing about in the dark. There's comfort in figures...

And it's all gone a bit pear shaped...

unlike me who is an apple through and through.

I'm on annual leave this week and so far, although I have done a little bit of exercise (walking) I have also stuffed my face a little bit. I think I'm on a rebellion phase where I want it so I'm 'avin' it! I have just finished off a packet of double oreos I bought yesterday whilst simultaneously downloading the new C25K app on my phone! Surely, it's the thought that counts! No?

I think on my days off I feel I have to achieve something every day. Yesterday, I did the grocery shopping and a trainer on walk. Today I have walked to the hairdressers, had my hair cut, walked back into town and home again; I'm on 9300 steps from just that and I'm going to work at tea time for a presentation (and pizza) Did I say pizza? Oh bugger.

Tomorrow, I shall venture north in the trusty Edward (my car's called Edward) and have a wander around trying to find some specific fabric for mother. I must stay away from the fabulous cream cake shop I know is there. Although I have just text my friend who lives up there, to see if she is free for coffee - that will inevitably involve cake too! I'm doomed because I just can't say no!

So there's a bit of self sabotage going on, lack of willpower and resolve with an underlying feeling of "sod it". But I am trying. Although I bought rhubarb and custard iced buns from M&S this morning, I didn't pick up chocolates or biscuits like I wanted to. (But I did have some oreos left as above). But the thing is, I stopped myself and that deserves congratulations because nobody knows how hard that actually is but me.

Oh who am I kidding? I am a greedy pig and there's no 2 ways about it. I like food, I like crap food and refined sugar and I'm so ashamed of what I have eaten I've not even put it in MFP because I don't want to see it in black and white. Once it's in black and white, it's also real and undeniable. I can hide packets and not mention things when it's only me that knows about them. But I'm a rubbish liar. I have actually shredded the oreos packet so hubby doesn't see it. How bad is that?

Actually I feel a bit better now I have written it down in black and white. Not so guilty. Because I know that there's people out there that might read this (well, if I had any readers) that will be saying "you think that's bad, you should hear about what I did..." I suppose one way to think positively is to remember that there are other people much worse off than me that have so much more of a real problem, people with mobility and health problems because of their addictions. It's sometimes a bit blurred, but I can draw a line where to stop. I have to redraw it on a daily basis, but I can (usually) and there's people out there who are unable to.

Like any of life's challenges, the ability to see and empathise with those who are worse off is a gift.

Bee on a bike...

...for about 10 minutes!!!

I acquired a bike some time ago from a friend who was unable to use it anymore. She had cancer and can't tolerate sitting on a bike due to radiotherapy effects. So I bought it off her on a whim. We manhandled it into the back of my car and when I got it home, Hubby was surprised to say the least that I had paid so little for a Giant bike with Shimano brakes (or gears, whichever is impressive). As you can tell, to me a bike is 2 wheels, handlebars and a bell if I'm lucky. I have 30 odd gear settings that I'm never going to use in a month of Sundays. Needless to say, it has sat in the garage, slowly deflating and losing all hope of ever being sat on again! Until today!

Hubby was supposed to be away this weekend, shooting people with bee-bees but his already fragile self confidence was shattered last night when he ventured where they were supposed to be camping, got the wrong side road and ended up being rescued from a muddy ditch by a mate with a Land Rover. He was completely mortified and no amount off cajoling or gentle persuasion, talking, listening or cuddling would persuade him to go back today. He has absolutely crippling social anxiety at times and although he's perfectly able to function on a daily basis, hold down a fairly stressful job and do things that he has to do. When it comes to his leisure time and hobbies, if he doesn't want to do it - he won't. This distresses me because he was so looking forward to the boys' weekend, roughing it on ration packs and seeing who can get the grubbiest and smelliest by Sunday afternoon. Instead he will spend most of the weekend holed up in his man cave, watching sport and playing computer games. I know he will look back and regret not going, and he knows it too but he just can't bring himself to face them so soon. He has a very strong flight response and he's afraid of not his mates, but the addition people there, taking the piss, having a drink and taking even more piss out of him and he will be unable to escape. His instinct last night was to get home as quickly as possible and he told me if the roads weren't so windy, he'd have broken the speed limit just to get back to his safe zone/haven.

I digress...anyway, because he's here when I didn't expect him to be and he's been trying to get out on his bike (and persuade me to do the same) I bit the bullet and suggested maybe we take them out. All plans made, lid retrieved from the wardrobe and off we went to the garage. My tyres were flat. And no pump that fits the valve. BOTTOM!! Change of plan. We decide to go for a walk instead and head towards a bike shop that we have never visited on the off-chance they'll be open (it was a Saturday morning; of course they'll be open. But he's in that over-analysis stage where everything he's planned will be thwarted by something). And then we can continue our walk with or without a pump with the option of Amazon. So that's what we did. 

The bike shop was open (told you so! But I didn't say it) and we purchased an old-fashioned pump for £5.99 and carried on walking. 6000 steps later we were home again and I was itching to get on my bike. So he kindly pumped the tyres up and after adjusting the seat, off we went to the car park at the end of the road. OMG my quads are screaming after only 10 minutes! To be fair, I haven't ridden a bike for probably well over 10-12 years. I was playing with the gears going up and down hill (the car park is on a bit of a slope) and my legs were aching so much! I won't need to do much to call it vigorous because the sweat was pouring off me after just that short episode. We'll maybe go out later this evening when the weather has cooled a bit and there's less people about to watch the fat, middle aged bee on a bike getting hotter, sweatier and redder by the moment!

Rotation diets

I  belong to a few support and incentive building buddie groups on facebook and I'm genuinely interested in how other obese people manage their lives, support each other and their attempt to lose weight and get more healthy; they're all me, to varying degrees. But I was a little concerned about one woman who reckoned her friend had lost 10lb in a week.

Oh really????

https://authoritynutrition.com/the-military-diet-101/

It seems that this diet, or something similar might be the culprit/reason. This is similar in rationale to a rotation diet popular about 20 odd years ago and even my mum did it and lost 6 stone. Only to put it all back on again when she started eating properly. They might be good for losing weight for a specific thing - ie military service, a wedding or target weight for WLS but it is not a sustainable way of losing weight and changing your lifestyle.

And will someone please tell me how you have 2 tablespoons of peanut butter on one slice of toast? And what an earth do you do with all the other halves of the bananas? No, I'm being serious. Who eats half a banana? Get a small banana for goodness sake!!!

In other news, I walked my little cotton socks off yesterday (literally. My trainers rubbed on my ankle, right through my little cotton socks and I have massive blisters!). It was a national holiday here and I dragged hubby out of bed and we went for a 2 hour walk along the cliff tops. The sun was shining off the sea and there were loads of little fishing boats about. The heather is just coming out and it was just all so pretty, life-affirming and refreshing. And to top it all, I didn't have to stop and pee in a bush! (Although I was a little dry by the time we'd finished because I'd only had 250mls of fluid before we went out). I did over 15000 steps yesterday. Today I have done about 10% of that!

Been a busy little bee again

It seems like ages since I last wrote. I've been off gallavanting - to Newcastle, where I stayed at the Malmaison hotel for 4 days. The food was already paid for (Union training) and was absolutely divine. Unfortunately it was also calorie-filled, rich and short on healthy options. In addition to that, there was no time to work any of the calories off as it was full-on studying all day every day. My head was pounding full of new information and my jeans were getting tighter and tighter as I sat on my arse all day, every day just wallowing in the sheer amount of calories I had consumed!

When I came home, things didn't improve much as I was going on a meal out on Saturday and although I didn't eat a huge amount, I consumed 3 cocktails and a glass of prosecco. And yesterday, I continued the trend as I went for a carvery lunch baby shower at the Golf Club. I didn't have any alcohol (still in my system from the night before) but I had a full roast dinner, dessert and baby shower cake. This morning I was hardly surprised at a 3lb weight gain. It could have been worse, I suppose.

So, after weigh-in I was on it like a rash! My fitbit hasn't been worn for a week (I knew there was no point even taking it to Newcastle) so it's now fully charged and ready to go. I haven't felt like doing much today so I have done less than 1000 steps so far (I think I have a bit of a left-over hangover from all the over-indulgences) but Tesco beckons later so I can restock the fridge and cupboards with healthy, plain foods. We have some soup ready for tea, so I'll get some bread and I'll get plenty of salad and fruit and popcorn (my go-to snack). I made some granola today too. I have never made it before and it's a little too dry, I think. The one on offer at the hotel last week was absolutely gorgeous, but I suspect, full of sugar/honey. But I don't think I've used enough honey for the amount of other ingredients. I probably need to get a good recipe to follow to get the proportions right.

Hubby got a few bits shopping on Saturday and he got me some cottage cheese. I love Longley Farm full fat cottage cheese. Mistakenly, he got me fat-free. OMG that stuff is so watery in comparison! I won't waste it, but blurgh, it's horrid!

Busy little bee

I have been very busy with work and completely knackered all the rest of the time. I was thinking that my skin was clearer and I was looking a little less tired but this week has wiped out all the good work and effort I have made with my nutritional and water intake and hubby pronounced yesterday that I was looking run down. I have a massive juicy spot on my chin and my face is shining. I can put some of that down to the weather (and consequent heat at work) and I suppose my body might be getting rid of toxins (hence the humungous spot). But OMG (a deity I don't believe in) I'm sooo tired. Last night I was planning on watching Hospital at 9pm. I couldn't keep my eyes open beyond about 8.30 and I dragged myself up to bed at 8.45. Fitbit said I had 8 hours sleep but I swear it felt like 8 minutes. I dragged myself out of bed again this morning and have been wishing myself back there all day!

Is this down to detox? I'm eating good food, making sure I'm getting the correct nutrition, and a good balance of carbs, protein and fat. I'm not exercising out of work but I have had 10,000+ steps every day so far just at work. I have also lost just over 2kg since I started the new lifestyle. Maybe my body is just adjusting to the new regime

Bee Beeautiful

How have I lived with so little potassium?

I'm not totally convinced that MFP is an accurate calculator of nutritional make-ups. The other day it said I had no potassium when I had recorded a banana. How can I have not had any potassium when I've had a narnar? Looking in minute detail at everything you eat makes you realise that the make-up of natural things is evidently going to be different depending on how mature/ripe/out of date, it is and exactly how big something is. What is a medium banana? How much of a large egg is a medium egg? Two thirds? How big is a carrot? How much vitamin A is in this carrot compared to that one that's been in the fridge a week and is a bit bendy?

I have had some difficult days work-wise this week. I avoided the 'baddies' earlier on but yesterday was a particularly challenging day as I ended up staying at work for an extra 5 hours with no opportunity for a break, food or even a pee. I had lunch at midday. By 9.30 I was so ravenous I just ate the nearest things to hand which were bourbons and Thornton's chocolates! Then, when I finally got home and had showered, it was 10.30 and I only had the energy for toast. Hubby kindly made me a couple of slices and thoughtfully scraped the butter on and then off again so there wasn't too much on it! "ARGH, the calories," you cry! But it was offset by the 14,500 steps I had done and even when I entered all of the rubbish I had eaten onto MFP, I was still in a significant calorie deficit.

It was a horrible shift (and a half) and I have been on a bit of a downer today. I took a piriton so I would sleep (but I was so knackered, I think I would have slept; I just didn't want to wake in the wee small hours and not be able to get off again as my brain went into overthinking mode). I woke after 7 hours with the beginning of a migraine (can you be asleep and tense at the same time?) so I had some migraleve - what a druggie! But I'm physically and mentally exhausted today; I can't make a decision without mulling it over for ages and my eyes are so heavy...

BUT, I have managed to avoid temptation (mostly). I had to go into town and wanted hubby's company, and he could see I just wanted a bit of moral support and physical hand holding so he came with me to run a few errands while I finally got my sunglasses from Specsavers. The weather was  (and still is) lovely and we walked a little way along the prom (yes, we live at the seaside) and I suggested an ice cream. I had the intention of a scoop (or two) in a pot rather than a cone that could dribble. The queue was massive so we gave it a miss and walked a longer way home instead. I have been to the supermarket to get some cold drinks (we had a hankering for orange, cranberry and lots of ice) and apart from a bag of sweet and salty popcorn and two apple turnovers, I walked away without baddies.

The popcorn is ok so long as I don't eat the entire bag in one sitting - it's light and not too bad sugar-wise. The turnovers were a whim because I fancied them. Just under 300kcal apparently. I'm not going to worry about it. We have decided we fancied a Weightwatchers recipe for Frittata for tea tonight so I know my calories for the day (and walking) will be OK. It's just the rum I might put in the cranberry and orange that might mess things up...😉

short one today

I have had quite a hard day work-wise and there were Mr George's chocolate digestives open and calling me. But I resisted that call and I am so proud of myself. Only last week I was stuffing them down when I thought no one was looking to take count!

I knew I was having a chicken curry for dinner so I tried to have a lower calorie lunch. I have always marvelled at people who do this naturally. It helps when you have meals planned (hence, I knew I was having curry). But some people just seemed to make this balance of meals look so easy "Oh, I'm having this for dinner, so I'll have a salad for lunch" and I was always like "So?"

But I get it now! Doesn't make it as easy as they make it seem, but then that's why they weigh what they do and I weigh what I do!

Just over 1600 kcal so far today and so far I have stayed below that with a target of 1800. I'll see what the scales say but I feel this is a little too easy to be right. I'm sticking to my limit without too much difficulty but thinking about everything I consider putting in my mouth. I suppose that awareness is half of the battle. I know I can decrease that limit to 1600 without too much difficulty (and hopefully I would be actually eating 1400 or so). I will learn how it works when I see results (or not). Is it sad that I'm actually excited to weigh myself on Monday?

The sweet stuff

There are guidelines, GDAs or more recently known as Recommended Intakes (RI) about the make-up of calorific intake.

MFP set up default levels but I noticed that I seemed to be reaching the sugar level very quickly despite not having added sugar, fruit juices or syrups - the things you expect. This got me thinking about what my intake of sugar should be and, more scarily, how much it has been in the past.

MFP was set at 43g of sugar. But that didn't take into account whether they were natural sugars or added sugars. There doesn't seem to be a way to break this down (without paying a shedload for MFP premium, which I'm not up for). The GDA or RI for women is 90g TOTAL sugar. So although I was above the threshold it had arbitrarily chosen for me that was ALL sugar in my diet. Surely even a saint couldn't keep it below 43g? I have changed it to 90g and intend to keep below that.

Quite possibly, up until just a few days ago, I could well have been topping 90g on a daily basis and probably doubling that or even more. Maybe this is the wake-up call I need. I realised that as I was walking around Tesco this afternoon I was thinking about the sugar content of virtually everything and remembering my brother saying that he never buys grapes because they are just balls of sugar. I scoffed at this because I thought that purely being a natural fruit trumped any bad sugar content. I was wrong; it's all important.

I have also considered the calcium, potassium and sodium content of my diet as MFP was consistently advising me that my potassium and calcium were low. I'm quite chuffed that there was no such alert about sodium being high - I have hypertension and so am quite aware of salt and processed foods etc. So I have adjusted the amounts according to RI and have considered where I might best obtain potassium and calcium in my diet. This is made a helluver lot easier by the fact I can now eat more natural sugars. I knew my calcium intake wasn't great, but the cap on my sugar wouldn't allow me to have a glass of milk without going way over. Hopefully there will be a bit of a better balance now. The same with goes for nuts and seeds giving me extra nutrients (calcium among them) or yoghurt, bananas and dried fruit for potassium; it all has sugar in too but now I have more sugar to play with!

This all makes me feel quite accomplished and like I'm on the right track to change my lifestyle. I never considered it as an academic process before, WeightWatchers and the like have always done the science bit for me and I've just taken their word for it. I hate WW. It works while you're on it, adhering to their strict rules (no matter how flexible they want you to think it is) but mostly because they peddle horrible low fat alternatives, rubbish recipes that never taste as good as when they're laden with fat and sugar. I'm miserable when I'm on a 'diet'.

I want to drink whole milk, eat full fat cheese and full fat yoghurt. I want to eat fresh, unprocessed foods as much as I can. But most of all, I want to be able to enjoy a healthy diet without feeling guilty, fat or deprived. I know I'm counting and measuring a lot at the moment and it takes precious time to put that extra effort in. But it will eventually be worth it. I will have changed my habits, changed my lifestyle and it will no longer be a chore.