First goal- smashed

Smashed into iddy biddy little pieces! My first weight-loss goal was to get under 100kg. And today at weigh in number 4, I did that with an overall total loss of 8.4kg. My BMI has gone from 42.2 to 38.9, so far.

I have planned and tracked and tracked and planned and haven't cheated once in these last 4 weeks. I have avoided all sorts of goodies at work, alcohol (not usually very difficult for me), chocolate, biscuits, cake and sweets.

It would be wrong to say you can't eat these things on WW, but I'm learning about me (after nearly 48 years of me, it was about time) and I can't stop at one with the sweet stuff. Yes, I could have one cupcake, but it would be a shedload of points that I couldn't use for something else and it's not worth it. Yes, I could have a biscuit. But I cannot stop at one biscuit, particularly if they come in a packet of substantially more than 1! I could have one mini heroes or Cadbury's Rose or Quality Street at work. But I definitely wouldn't be able to resist 'just one more' and then maybe another...and another...and another. I know my triggers.

I'm also drinking loads of water - which strangely, I find easier to do at work and just seem to forget at home! But I suppose I drink more other stuff at home, so I'm still getting pretty much the same amount of fluid intake.

The food I do eat has to be interesting and tasty and I absolutely refuse to eat 'diet' food or low fat unless I actually prefer it anyway. I'm trying to vary my meals and not always have the same breakfast or lunch. It helps that OH is also doing WW (although he has considerable more daily points than I do!) We're tending to have different breakfast and lunches and then coming together to share the same evening meal.

Today I have had 0% Greek Yoghurt (which I liked and ate anyway) with a bit of granola as a topping rather than as 'the main event' and some berries. OH isn't keen on the yoghurt, so he has cereal and milk. For lunch I had a bagel and some feta with a bag of chickpea crisps. I was going to have avocado but it's solid and not ready to eat yet. This leaves me loads of points for my dinner and we're planning a grilled chicken salad, which is pretty low in points. I might have some bread too. Fruit is zero points so I am eating loads - berries, apples, bananas and we've had some lovely watermelon and fresh pineapple. There's some ice cream left in the freezer that i might have to dip in to...

Happy New Year!

Yes, predictably with the new year comes all the resolutions and all the big plans to change my lifestyle. I'd like to say "No,; this year I'm not going to conform to all that!" But sadly, yes I am as hubby and I are about to repeat the six week bootcamp I embarked on on November.

https://www.fatgirlgetfit.co.uk/

I had degrees of success with it and lost 10lbs in the first detox week. Then I carried on for a week or so without a problem before going to Leeds and staying at Malmaison for 3 nights. It all went completely to pot and I was very ill on the last day, either through a bug or through eating so much rich food straight after a detox!

After that I kind of half-heartedly followed it as Christmas was approaching and I couldn't be bothered and hubby wasn't doing it and and and... excuses excuses.

I put 1lb back on by the time it came to Christmas Eve and the next time I was allowed to weigh myself so I was pretty pleased with that. I have just weighed myself again and I've put on another 5lbs over Christmas. C'est la vie! At least I'm still lighter than I was 2 months ago!

So today we are eating what remains of the Christmas indulgences and tomorrow I am back at work and back onto the detox.

I'll keep you posted...

Busy little bee

I have been very busy with work and completely knackered all the rest of the time. I was thinking that my skin was clearer and I was looking a little less tired but this week has wiped out all the good work and effort I have made with my nutritional and water intake and hubby pronounced yesterday that I was looking run down. I have a massive juicy spot on my chin and my face is shining. I can put some of that down to the weather (and consequent heat at work) and I suppose my body might be getting rid of toxins (hence the humungous spot). But OMG (a deity I don't believe in) I'm sooo tired. Last night I was planning on watching Hospital at 9pm. I couldn't keep my eyes open beyond about 8.30 and I dragged myself up to bed at 8.45. Fitbit said I had 8 hours sleep but I swear it felt like 8 minutes. I dragged myself out of bed again this morning and have been wishing myself back there all day!

Is this down to detox? I'm eating good food, making sure I'm getting the correct nutrition, and a good balance of carbs, protein and fat. I'm not exercising out of work but I have had 10,000+ steps every day so far just at work. I have also lost just over 2kg since I started the new lifestyle. Maybe my body is just adjusting to the new regime

Bee Beeautiful

some info I have just confirmed

According to the British Nutritional Foundation

https://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/healthissues/healthy-weight-loss.html?limit=1&start=1

"Guidelines recommend that you should try to lose weight gradually, about 1-2 lbs (approximately 0.5-1.0 kg) a week. This way, the weight is more likely to stay off. This rate of weight loss is based on using up 600 kcal per day more than you take in. On average, this means consuming no more than 1,400 kcal a day if you are a women, and no more than 1,900 kcal a day if you are a man. The amount of weight you lose will depend on how much weight you need to lose and how active you are."

This is quite interesting as I have never seen this amount defined before. That also means that 1400kcal a day is what i should be aiming for...maybe. I am considerably overweight. I have just worked out my BMI and it is 39.6. A calorie intake that low...I'm not sure that is suitable for me to jump into straight away.

Weightwatchers (which I have done successfully several times, and then put most back on over time) advocates a larger calorie intake and gradually reducing it as you lose weight. I think this is so you've got somewhere to go with your weight loss. If I reduce my input to 1400 tomorrow, I would probably lose weight very quickly. But could I sustain it?

I think I'm going to find out some stuff which I really don't like the idea of during the course of my investigations. It will be up to me whether I chose to implement the suggested changes or adapt them to make them more palatable (literally). I guess to use 600 more than I eat, I have to do more, use up more energy to eat more in the first place. It is clear that I have to know numbers, calorific content and how much I am using up on a daily basis.

Better charge up the fitbit...

So I have looked at the NHS site and it recommends a daily intake for me of 1692 - 2175 kcal

The beginning of a journey

I think I have reached an epiphany.

I am an intelligent person with a Master's degree and I have been overweight to some degree for all of my adult life. I know that this is basically because my equation doesn't balance. It is a fundamental question of input and output and, the input is consistently more than the output. This consistency means that apart from within my (many) bouts of dieting I have put weight on or maintained my weight (at overweight).

So today, after a declaration of intent and failure within 12 hours I have decided to investigate, explore and analyse not only my own self but how I can improve that self. I would like to consider what makes me do what I do and synthesise that data into good and bad behaviours, that is, what is useful to help me with my desired outcomes and what is unhelpful. 

In addition, I would like to compile and define nutritional needs in order to create a template of input. Similarly, research-based recommendations regarding required amounts of physical activity and how they are best performed will be investigated. I will consider various types of weight control, diet and eating regime and attempt to incorporate the most useful and practical aspects into my own, personalised plan.

Having recently completed my Master's dissertation, it occurred to me that approaching my problem from an academic perspective is novel, but appropriate and may throw more light on a topic that has intrigued, baffled and eluded me for many years. I will in effect, be conducting a piece of auto-research with aspects of both autoethnography as I explore the self, but also qualitative and quantitative as I analyse theories, concepts and comparative data.

The research will primarily be in the form of literature searches with a working hypothesis that by shifting the balance from input to output, weight, health and wellbeing will be improved. It is clear that although I consider what I am doing to be from an academic perspective, it would probably not stand up to critical analysis or conform to recognised referencing standards. Ultimately, my aim is to devise a template to assist in improving my own health and wellbeing. The local research ethics committee need not be concerned with what I am doing!

To start, some statistics might be helpful - the statistics are as follows. Showing a change in these will fulfil the quantitative aspect of the study. I have not measured my blood pressure as I'm too scared to do so at present. But one of my principal aims is to reduce my blood pressure as I suffer from hypertension, for which I take daily medication.

Date	09/06/17
age	44y 11m
height	160cm
weight	101.5kg
bust	119cm
waist	111cm
hips	118cm
thigh	70cm
calf	48cm
arm	42cm

Without question, there are also feelings and thoughts that reflect the qualitative side and I shall explore these briefly now.

Yesterday morning I had expressed a desire to make lifestyle changes because I was feeling the effects of putting on more weight; my clothes were becoming tighter, I was noticing I was more easily out of breath and (possibly TMI) I have been getting regular bouts of thrush, which I put down to a high sugar intake.

I had a very trying day at work, with lots of problems to sort, difficult and sensitive situations and a degree of professional arrogance and superiority that caused me to be an hour late leaving. On the way home, I bought a £1 Dairy Milk bar, a £1 bag of revels and a £1 bag of fruit pastilles. And I ate them. I had to stop myself from diving in before I had eaten my evening meal, which I managed. Just. But then I scoffed 95% (hubby had a bit) in double quick time. I wanted to feel good and they were going to do that. But the feeling lasts so briefly that all too soon, I just felt overfull and sick. Hubby found it particularly disturbing that despite consuming so much refined sugar not that long before bedtime, I had no difficulty getting off to sleep and apart from the initial euphoria as the chocolate was still melting my mouth, I did not experience a 'sugar rush' and was not bouncing off the ceiling as he felt he would be.

Why did I feel the need to not only buy sweets and chocolate, but so much of the stuff and consume it so quickly? I think it's to do with feeling I deserved it after the crap day I'd had. Sweets and sugar are the treats that I value. I feel minimal pleasure in buying clothes because of my size and I don't wear much make-up. I am wary of beauty products because I have quite sensitive skin and the above TMI. And there's no instant hit from those other things. I think my personality is about craving instant hits and I'm sure that if I had moved in the right (or wrong depending on your perspective) social circles, I could quite easily be addicted to illegal substances. I can't afford to be an alcoholic but in all honesty, I can take or leave alcohol; I don't get an instant hit - it's too much effort (and expense) to get comfortably squiffy and it's not worth the hangover.

How can I think about alcohol like that but not refined sugar?

Sugar isn't my only problem, just my main one. I also enjoy cheese, cream, butter, crisps and fried food but I control these better. Discussing things over the dining room table (which we hardly ever eat at - another bad habit) we agreed that out general grocery shopping isn't bad - we avoid processed stuff, ready meals and the like but we always buy extras and treats when we go shopping. There's that word again - treats! We both agree that if we don't buy it, we can't eat it but sometimes we want a treat just to get over the tortuous trip to the supermarket! It's a vicious circle!

I have come up with some ideas for what are helpful and unhelpful behaviours - see below

Helpful	Unhelpful
not buying crap	not eating at the table
not eating ready meals	requiring 'treats'
parking a distance away at work	lazing in bed – late start to day/knock on
using fitbit	ignorance of nutritional content/requirements
not taking money to work	not listening for ‘full’ signal
taking packed lunches	main meal in evening
eating breakfast	temptations at work
planning menu/meals	lack of self-esteem/worth
drinking water ++	eating too quickly
self awareness	stress
don’t have sugar in drinks/on cereal

I think it's time I did a bit of research now. 

To be continued...