First goal- smashed

Smashed into iddy biddy little pieces! My first weight-loss goal was to get under 100kg. And today at weigh in number 4, I did that with an overall total loss of 8.4kg. My BMI has gone from 42.2 to 38.9, so far.

I have planned and tracked and tracked and planned and haven't cheated once in these last 4 weeks. I have avoided all sorts of goodies at work, alcohol (not usually very difficult for me), chocolate, biscuits, cake and sweets.

It would be wrong to say you can't eat these things on WW, but I'm learning about me (after nearly 48 years of me, it was about time) and I can't stop at one with the sweet stuff. Yes, I could have one cupcake, but it would be a shedload of points that I couldn't use for something else and it's not worth it. Yes, I could have a biscuit. But I cannot stop at one biscuit, particularly if they come in a packet of substantially more than 1! I could have one mini heroes or Cadbury's Rose or Quality Street at work. But I definitely wouldn't be able to resist 'just one more' and then maybe another...and another...and another. I know my triggers.

I'm also drinking loads of water - which strangely, I find easier to do at work and just seem to forget at home! But I suppose I drink more other stuff at home, so I'm still getting pretty much the same amount of fluid intake.

The food I do eat has to be interesting and tasty and I absolutely refuse to eat 'diet' food or low fat unless I actually prefer it anyway. I'm trying to vary my meals and not always have the same breakfast or lunch. It helps that OH is also doing WW (although he has considerable more daily points than I do!) We're tending to have different breakfast and lunches and then coming together to share the same evening meal.

Today I have had 0% Greek Yoghurt (which I liked and ate anyway) with a bit of granola as a topping rather than as 'the main event' and some berries. OH isn't keen on the yoghurt, so he has cereal and milk. For lunch I had a bagel and some feta with a bag of chickpea crisps. I was going to have avocado but it's solid and not ready to eat yet. This leaves me loads of points for my dinner and we're planning a grilled chicken salad, which is pretty low in points. I might have some bread too. Fruit is zero points so I am eating loads - berries, apples, bananas and we've had some lovely watermelon and fresh pineapple. There's some ice cream left in the freezer that i might have to dip in to...

And off we go again...

I've not been on here for quite a few weeks now. I'm dillying and dallying where food and exercise is concerned and I just caught myself looking at Slimming World on line. It's £20 a month and £80 to start if you want all the magazines and books. I cannot justify that if I end up not sticking to it. I think the appeal was that I have never done Slimming World before and so unlike Weightwatchers, I wouldn't have all the same dread of what is on offer, pointing and weighing. I don't know how Slimming World works, except that they have 'syns' which gets my back straight up. And I am an intelligent woman; I have discussed many times on here about how it surely just is a balance of input and output - a balance that I have not yet managed to strike successfully.

If I'm going to lose this weight once and for all I need to change my lifestyle and not just fork out spondoolies every month for someone else to say measure this, count that and "should you be eating that?". It's a simple equation of avoiding the obviously 'bad' things such as refined sugar and saturated fat as much as possible, making sensible choices and above all not buying the crap in the first place! But why is that so difficult?

I had a blood pressure check last week, which was OK; not brilliant, but OK. My asthma peak flow is similar - could be better but not dire or particularly worrying. I also weighed myself this morning for the first time in ages and despite my fears, I am relatively stable and am lighter than when I embarked on this in June - hovering around 100kg (100.8 today). But even though everything is ok, I'm dissatisfied. I am an intelligent woman, I relish getting stuck into a project and yet I can't muster the motivation to concentrate on my health and wellbeing as a project - a very worthwhile and ultimately rewarding project.

I've got 10 weeks until my graduation ceremony, where I have my picture taken in a cap and gown. (I got a distinction, BTW) and get plastered all over the newsletters as well as the walls of the education centre for all eternity. I want to look better than I do now. If I could lose between 5-10kg in that time, that would be doable, wouldn't it?

Well, of course, only if I change what I'm doing! That goes without saying!

Tesco this afternoon and I shall be doing my utmost to be sensible about what I chose to put in the trolley. Hopefully hubby is up for it too.