unlike me who is an apple through and through.
I'm on annual leave this week and so far, although I have done a little bit of exercise (walking) I have also stuffed my face a little bit. I think I'm on a rebellion phase where I want it so I'm 'avin' it! I have just finished off a packet of double oreos I bought yesterday whilst simultaneously downloading the new C25K app on my phone! Surely, it's the thought that counts! No?
I think on my days off I feel I have to achieve something every day. Yesterday, I did the grocery shopping and a trainer on walk. Today I have walked to the hairdressers, had my hair cut, walked back into town and home again; I'm on 9300 steps from just that and I'm going to work at tea time for a presentation (and pizza) Did I say pizza? Oh bugger.
Tomorrow, I shall venture north in the trusty Edward (my car's called Edward) and have a wander around trying to find some specific fabric for mother. I must stay away from the fabulous cream cake shop I know is there. Although I have just text my friend who lives up there, to see if she is free for coffee - that will inevitably involve cake too! I'm doomed because I just can't say no!
So there's a bit of self sabotage going on, lack of willpower and resolve with an underlying feeling of "sod it". But I am trying. Although I bought rhubarb and custard iced buns from M&S this morning, I didn't pick up chocolates or biscuits like I wanted to. (But I did have some oreos left as above). But the thing is, I stopped myself and that deserves congratulations because nobody knows how hard that actually is but me.
Oh who am I kidding? I am a greedy pig and there's no 2 ways about it. I like food, I like crap food and refined sugar and I'm so ashamed of what I have eaten I've not even put it in MFP because I don't want to see it in black and white. Once it's in black and white, it's also real and undeniable. I can hide packets and not mention things when it's only me that knows about them. But I'm a rubbish liar. I have actually shredded the oreos packet so hubby doesn't see it. How bad is that?
Actually I feel a bit better now I have written it down in black and white. Not so guilty. Because I know that there's people out there that might read this (well, if I had any readers) that will be saying "you think that's bad, you should hear about what I did..." I suppose one way to think positively is to remember that there are other people much worse off than me that have so much more of a real problem, people with mobility and health problems because of their addictions. It's sometimes a bit blurred, but I can draw a line where to stop. I have to redraw it on a daily basis, but I can (usually) and there's people out there who are unable to.
Like any of life's challenges, the ability to see and empathise with those who are worse off is a gift.
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